It took me way too long to realize that you shouldn’t stay friends with people who never ask how you’re doing.
Check on your strong friend!
I see this meme and comment all over social media and I’m wondering do you people ever really check on their strong friends. I’m what they consider the strong friend.
I’m the friend that you come and dump all your problems, negative thoughts, and heavy stories on. Now, I don’t mind lending a ear for a friend in need, but my best friend posed a great question to me the other day.
“What do you do after people dump their problems on you? How do you get rid of that energy that is transferred after all of these negative conversations?”
Of course, my answers are always to write, meditate, and all of the other things that I’ve spoken about previously. But sometimes stuff just sticks to you like glue. Some of the stories although, may be a relief for you, sticks with me as I carry on my day. I begin thinking of ways that I could assist you if possible; things I could say to give you a little light in the darkness. Sometimes all someone needs is to know that you’re there for them, if ever they need something.
But when you finish dumping all of that on to my conscience and I do what I can to lift your spirits. The conversation is over and I’m stuck thinking about not only your issues, but my own. You never stopped to ask me, about me. You never stopped to ask how I’m doing. How my life is going? How is my family? Or even to wish me well. You just dump your negative energy on my zen and move along.
What about your strong friend?
She has issues too. Although, she isn’t as vocal about personal matters, she may be hurting too. She is built tough like Ford, but when she’s alone, she’s not. Just because your strong friend may have sound advice and she seems like she has it all figured out. She doesn’t. Your problems, may differ from hers, but she may be going through something just like you are.
Sometimes we don’t want to be the strong friend, because we at times we aren’t feeling our strongest.
Sometimes we don’t want to be your motivation, because we need motivation ourselves.
Sometimes we don’t have the words to uplift you, because we are already feeling low.
Sometimes your strong friend is weak and are looking for you to be that strong friend, when she needs it most.
Sometimes the strong friend has to end conversations, because they can’t bare to take any more of your negativity.
I think the strong friend gets so caught up in being strong for everyone else that they tend to forgot to take care of themselves. So it’s ok to end conversations when they become too much. It’s ok to ignore calls every now and then, and return calls when you’re feeling up to it. Put that phone in do not disturb mode and focus on you for a change strong friend. It’s okay to need that time to yourself.
Remember that friendships are two sided and they have to be in order for them to work effectively. Reciprocity is important in all friendships. Evaluate your friendships and make sure they are worth having. If not, drop that dead weight and move along to better friendships. Good friendships are hard to come by these days, so cherish your good friends.
Thanks for reading and as always, stay royal Queens & Kings.