Now, I don’t normally do celebrity gossip and I sure don’t waste my time discussing it on my blog but after reading this mess on social media yesterday I had to address this. I’m sure you’ve heard about my beloved favorite singer Usher and his herpes scandal since it has been the hot topic for a couple weeks now. I never wanted to discuss it because I just love that guy and I really didn’t care to discuss his personal business. This STD scandal isn’t going to change my feelings about his music and his legacy. He will remain one of the greatest performers of my time. Period. But this isn’t what this is about. This is about the young lady who has come forth about being involved with Usher. A pretty, plus size girl that is said to be a scammer. Now I don’t agree with her tactics, but neither do I agree with how social media has ridiculed her for being plus sized.
I’ve never seen so many fat jokes on social media in my life. It seems like the whole world had a great ol’ time yesterday laughing at her expense not because she was being a “scammer” but because of her size. What made it even worse is the fact I saw more women than men acting like it’s impossible for a bigger girl to be with a fine man. Sis, I don’t know where you’ve been for the past million years but us Queensized women been winning. Sure, we aren’t everyone’s type but that can be said about many people. All guys don’t like slim girls, just like all guys don’t like bigger girls. But for you all to carry on like it’s a proven fact that big girls don’t get men is hilarious. Honey, this belly don’t stop no show and it doesn’t stop your man, brother, daddy, grandpa, uncle, and cousin from looking our way.
Queensized woman are just as fine and wanted as you are. Our weight doesn’t make us any less beautiful. Our weight doesn’t define our character. Our weight doesn’t dim our light. But what does your ugly personality say about you? When will women come together and love one another instead of pushing one another down? This isn’t a competition or a race. We can all win without putting down the next woman. I love this current trend of women coming together and hosting brunches and meet ups. Lawd knows that I don’t need another waffle or piece of fried chicken added to my life, but I love the togetherness of it all. I love seeing women uplift and connect. I love being around like minded women who aren’t afraid to support you and throw out compliments instead of feeling threatened by how you look and what you have going. Fat-shaming and demeaning the next woman won’t make you prettier, help you reach your goals, get you any money, or make you sleep any better at night.
And for all the chubby chasing men out there laughing it up and talking about big girls on my timeline; you should be happy I’m a woman and not an immature little girl. You can laugh with your friends and act like messing with big girls is unheard of but these DMs don’t lie. My messages are full of “fine” men begging for numbers and dates. But I don’t entertain chubby chasers. You know the ones that will pass every picture on your page and admire on the low but hop in your DMs every time you post something they like. I even have some of the guys who won’t just comment on a status on Facebook like regular folk but decide to send me a personal response in my inbox. These are the same little boys who will laugh at big girls on social media and try to creep in your bed at night. It’s a no for me hunny.
I want you to remember all of that when you decide to condone fat shaming women. Remember that big girl that turned you down because of your ill intentions. That girl that left your messages on read and didn’t even waste her time replying; now your ego is bruised. Or even that big girl that messed with you because you were fine. Don’t forget that beautiful Queen-sized girl who you sold a dream and wanted to live a secret life with but she knew her worth and left you alone. Don’t act like you aren’t out here loving on big girls because we know the truth. You out here fat-shaming women like a plus-sized woman didn’t birth half of you bums. Stop it. Grow up and do better.
Queen, don’t let these ignorant folks bother you with their foolishness. Don’t read into this and feel like men don’t want you because you are big. You just haven’t met the right man. You are everything and if someone doesn’t see that delete them from your life. Here are a few things we will and won’t accept from others.
- Don’t pay these chubby chasers in your DM any mind. If you feel as if they have ill intentions, don’t waste your time. There is an amazing man somewhere waiting on his queen and ready to treat her like royalty.
- Don’t let anyone steal your joy and make you feel inferior. You’re just as beautiful, if not more beautiful than the next woman. Believe it.
- Maybe you can join one of these women groups with other like minded women. These groups can be inspiring, uplifting, and it might be the boost that you need.
As always, stay royal Queens!