If you’re looking for a yes man, I ain’t the one.
I’m just not cut out for saying yes to every single thing you do. I say yes to things that I absolutely agree with or to things I want to do. I don’t say yes just to spare your feelings and I definitely don’t feel like I have to be conned into doing things I don’t want to do. You’re friends with me? Expect to hear a no from time to time. The word “no” may seem too rude or harsh to some of my more sensitive folks, but not to me. However, I try (keyword: try) to say no in a nicer way.
Friend: “Do I look fat in this dress?”
Me: “You don’t look fat, it’s just not a flattering dress for your body type.”
Friend: “What you think about me writing a comedic book? I have a great idea.”
Me: “Do you tell jokes? I don’t remember you ever really being into comedy.”
I’m the honest friend and I really can’t help it. This isn’t to down you, but I just want us all to be honest with ourselves here. It’s natural to want to be friends with people who agree, support, and praise you all the time. I mean, there is a little self-absorbed person in all of us that loves the idea of that. It’s like having your own personal cheerleader. Some people think that’s what makes some of the best friends. They’re loyal and always on your side. I get it.
But your yes men are also there when you may fail and will attempt to band aid your wounds as if nothing you did was wrong or flawed. I don’t believe this is healthy for anyone. Imagine if we only had yes men as friends? Then we would have a bunch of Kanye’s running around here- self-absorbed, egotistical, tactless people finding no fault in anything they do. No one is always right and no one is going to do every single thing right. We’re human, we’re not perfect. It’s okay if we make mistakes.
Sometimes you have to tell your friend to chill. Sometimes you have to give them honest critiques of ideas they’re pitching. If your friends are coming to you wanting your opinion, don’t give them a cute yes man answer. Be realistic. Because if you don’t, the world will. Then they’ll come right back to you feeling down and out, just for you to continue to band aid the hurt.
At this point in my life, I don’t have room for yes men and women in my crew of friends. Give me the real, straight up no chaser. Don’t water it down for me, just let me know what’s up. I feel that your friends should be a reflection of you. Not saying that everyone should work the same job, have the same income, or do exactly as you do. But they should be good hearted, honest people who are able to give you honest answers without being seen as the bad guy.
Just because your friend isn’t a yes man, doesn’t mean they don’t support you just as much as your yes man friend. We can be your biggest supporter, confidant, and wish you nothing but the best. We are only this honest because we want the best for you and everything you do. If you are surrounded by a bunch of yes men, it’s time to do some evaluating. Get some new friends, with like minds and hustles. Get you some friends who are going to give it to you raw and uncut. Because every now and then we need that reality check.