“Plus size girls can’t rock the short natural look.”
“I don’t have the face for short hair.”
“I feel exposed with this short natural hair.”
Recently, I’ve heard all types of things when it comes to QUEENsized women with short natural hair. I hadn’t realized that so many of my fellow queen sized women were having spouts of self doubt when it comes to getting the big chop. When I did my big chop a year ago, several women complimented for being bold and brave and owning my natural hair. I heard of lot of comments like “you can rock any hairstyle” and “I don’t have to face for that style, but you do.” But honey we can all rock whatever hairstyle we want. It’s all about how you carry yourself.
I hadn’t realized how many women were using their hair as a security blanket as if having long hair makes you prettier. I’ve heard that long hair makes women more attractive and I recall reading a comment on social media about you can’t be fat and have short hair. I’m here to tell you that none of that is true. I’m that queensized girl whom is big and beautiful and rocked the hell out of my short kinky hair. But I will admit the first day I cut my hair, I had my doubts as well. I had been wearing a shorter, relaxed hairstyle for years so cutting it shorter didn’t seem like a big deal for me when I did it. But when I cut it, I remember staring at myself for what seemed like hours in the mirror. I didn’t look like me. I didn’t have my razor cut bangs that usually covered my forehead or my crazy curls that made my thick hair look fuller. Instead I saw nothing but my face. Every freckle, mole, and blemish that decorated my face was on full display for everyone to see. I couldn’t hide behind my hair. My bangs wouldn’t cover that knot I had on my forehead.
I had to come to terms with my beauty and embrace every flaw because when I left the comfort of my home I wanted to walk out with my head held high. Everyone would be shocked to see that I had done the big chop and would make comments some that I may like and others that didn’t care to hear. But one thing people would know when they saw me was that I was confident with my decision to cut my hair. After staring at my face so long, I found the things I loved about myself. I love the mole between my eyes and the mole on my right cheek. I love my round eyes and my full lips. Yes, my face is full and I got a lil bit of double chin action going on, but I love me.
I wore a full face of makeup the first two days of having my short hair trying to make up for the lack of hair. Trying to get used to being without hair but that soon changed. Day 3, I was back at work with my regular ol bare face and signature purple lipstick feeling just as beautiful as I did when I had hair. I wasn’t hiding behind my hair or makeup anymore. I accepted my flaws and made them beautiful for me. After I changed my way of thinking, everything changed for me. I felt liberated. I felt free. I soon felt like I should have cut my hair sooner. It’s something about being able to just get up and go without wasting time thinking about how I should do my hair. It was like shedding an old layer of myself and becoming new. Everything felt new and fresh.
Cutting my hair made me fearless. After I cut my hair, I did things that I didn’t have the courage to do previously. It was as if cutting my hair was like cutting off fear. I didn’t care what people thought about me or what I was doing. Feeling fearless I started this blog, I edited my first book, became a published poet, and continued pushing towards my dreams. Nothing was holding me back anymore. I’m pushing to become a better me. Short hair didn’t hinder me or anything I’m doing and it shouldn’t hinder you either. Cutting your hair isn’t the end, it’s the beginning of something new.
Queen, you are beautiful. You are intelligent You are resilient. You are unique. Your beauty is undeniable. You will only feel as great as you make yourself feel. Your happiness is in your hands and it is your responsibility to cultivate it.
If any of my other queen-sized women had to overcome these insecurities, I would love for you to share how you got over them.
Special dedication to Taneasha. She encouraged me to write about this topic. I just want to let you know that you’re beautiful inside and out. Your natural hair journey will be just as beautiful. When you’re beautiful, you can make anything look good. Look at this as the beginning of something new and exciting. I can’t wait to see you rock your natural fro. Love and be blessed.
Stay royal, Queens!
Shout out to the Queen-sized women killing these short natural styles! Keep shining!